Any surprise that the furries are all tops? By Gremlin This weekend, shockwaves ran through campus as the 1693 Furs, a newer organization here at William and Mary, were revealed to be ranked first on campus if you order all of the clubs alphabetically. “Yeah, this was a long time coming,” said Gerald Horse, a representative of the 1693 Furs. “Ever since 7th Grade Sketch Comedy innovated by starting their name with a number… Well, you know what had to be done.”
This news comes as a surprise especially to the Academic Advising Peer Advisors. “Who would have thought? Numbers coming before the alphabet? Absolutely impossible,” stated the head of the organization. And right they are - when polled, less than 1% of students on campus voted that the 1693 Furs were the top club. So, who was behind this decision? An independent investigation revealed that the Griffin itself might have played a key role. “Yeah. I gave them the idea to name the club after the year our great College here was chartered,” the Griffin shared, wiping away a steady stream of tears. “But now that I know that the 1693 Furs were just using me… I regret it.” When asked what might be done for the next tally of the top clubs on campus, the Griffin spoke further. “They can’t last too long. Once someone decides a club should start with a 0, I imagine it will all break apart. Every club will need to have some zeroes at the start to keep being competitive in this world.” In the remnants of the new hierarchy, some have started extreme measures to be at the top of the rankings. The most notable of which, the “Number One Club WM” campaign, has already gathered dozens of followers lobbying for a club entitled “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” If you are interested in being in the Number One Club of WM, please email [email protected].
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